Magazine Article by Marilynn Gordon
A Ministry Through Affliction--Beyond Our Fondest Expectations . . .
BY THE WIFE OF A PARALYTIC
By Marilynn Gordon
Written in 1966
Some people find it hard to believe that my husband cannot do one thing for himself. For instance, shortly after he was brought home from the hospital I was talking with a grocer when the conversation got around to my husband's condition. I said that he was completely paralyzed, and she seemed to understand, but when I told her I had to get him out of bed, she was surprised and exclaimed, "You mean to say he can't even walk by himself?"
My husband has not walked, or done any of the other things most people take for granted, since polio struck our community and our family in the summer of 1955. Two of our children were admitted to the hospital on August 15, and my husband on the 21st. Bulbar, lower and upper spinal poliomyelitis was the grim diagnosis. I began to learn something of what it means to be the wife and mother of victims of paralysis.
The children recovered quickly and almost completely, being left with only minor weakness in certain muscles. My husband spent 13 months in the hospital and a rehabilitation center, after which I brought him home and we started a new phase of our life.
The Lord led us into a writing ministry. My husband does the writing--the construction of the material and the actual typing of it with a stick which he holds in his mouth--and I do the many other jobs which need to be done in this type of ministry.
My day starts not much differently, I suppose, than that of many other wives--around the breakfast table with our three children. After breakfast we have our devotions. Then off to catch the bus for school. Jack is 16 and in the 11th grade, Jim is 13 and in the ninth, and Joyce is 12 and in the seventh. Their interests vary and are as changeable as the wind. When they walk in the door after school we wonder what is coming next. Very seldom are we disappointed; they usually have thought up something else to make Mom's hair gray and Dad's scarce. One friend told my husband that although he could do nothing else, at least he could sit and watch his children grow up. Somehow we have discovered that it takes a little bit more than just sitting and watching. "My grace is sufficient," said our Lord.
The children off to school, it is time to get Arthur out of bed. Unlike other wives who have to yell till they are blue in the face to get their husbands up and started for the day, I simply turn off his rocking bed. He wakes up in a hurry. Breakfast in bed. Then a bath. Clothes on. And then from the bed to the wheel chair by means of a hydraulic patient lift. His chair is motorized and he operates it with his chin, so he can get about the house without my help during the day.
This gives me time to do the hundred and one things all homemakers know about all too well--washing, ironing, cleaning, and so forth. The unique jobs of the wife of a paralytic include feeding hubby his meals, exercising his legs and arms, scratching his itches, combing his hair, brushing his teeth, and other bathroom necessities. During the month there are proofs to be read, printing to be seen to, papers to be folded, stapled, addressed, tied, and bagged. There is the filing of new names, changing addresses, taking out old ones. The volume of correspondence must be faithfully maintained. Those of you who are in the ministry with a pastor-husband or missionary-husband know what I am talking about.
Often it is difficult and frustrating trying to keep all the loose ends together. But I have found it is not impossible. "With God all things are possible." "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." The Lord has led continually and faithfully from the day my husband and I first met at the Bible Institute of Pennsylvania, through college and seminary at Grace, from which my husband graduated in 1954, until this present moment. He has given us a ministry through affliction far beyond our fondest expectations. Through our monthly devotional paper, Triumph, we go into five thousand homes throughout this country and in many foreign countries proclaiming the Good News of the Lord Jesus Christ. From letters we receive it is very evident the Lord is blessing others through this effort.
In one of his editorials, my husband dedicated the column to me and "all the 'unsung heroes' of the sick-room." The opinions he expressed were strictly his own, and I feel he is a bit prejudiced; but to give you his view and possibly a better view of this type of living, I here quote part of what he said.
"Their task is tremendous yet always faithfully performed. Often their work is done without any encouragement or even any appreciation. Visitors commend the one who is ill for his faith in suffering, they are quick to offer him encouragement, but what of the one standing by his side? Far too often I have not appreciated as I should the helpmate God has given me. When 'blue' days come along--as they always do--our faithful sick-room partner usually bears the brunt of our irritability.
"My wife has not only voiced but also demonstrated the vows at our wedding, ' . . . in sickness and in health . . . till death us do part.' The Bible says of her, 'Her price is far above rubies.'
"Of course, the load is not the same in every case, but you may be sure it is heavy in every case. My wife must continue in her role as homemaker, caring for the house and the three children. Besides this she has to take on the added duties of nurse, chauffeur, mechanic, file clerk, stenographer, proof reader, psychologist, mimeograph operator, and a multitude of other things. She also finds time to teach a Sunday school class. A less sturdy soul would have quit long ago. She has become my hands and feet. She bathes, dresses, shaves me. Her meal usually gets cold while she feeds me. I could go on, but I think you realize by now something of the job my wife and many others in like circumstances are doing."
I told you he was prejudiced. But it is nice to know that your efforts have not gone unnoticed and are appreciated.
To the non-Christian our situation might seem hopeless, but our hope is in "the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, which according to his abundant mercy hath begotten us again unto a lively hope by the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead." "Which hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and stedfast."
